The BIG LATCH ON made Grand Rapids history last year with 62 mothers in attendance and 57 latched on in unison at 10:30AM local time. This year we plan to celebrate breastfeeding mamas and their babies in style while making a statement to our community that breastfeeding is healthy & beautiful!
More details to come - if you would like to get involved (we will need many volunteers), please contact Juliea @ crowninglotus@yahoo.com
To participate or learn more, please visit BIGLATCHON.ORG
Check out our video from last years event which has gotten close to 100,000 views!!
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Why Hire A Doula?
A doula works with a mother/couple before the birth of the baby all the way into parenthood. Addressing fears and anxieties regarding pregnancy, labor, breastfeeding
and parenting. She shares her knowledge of natural ways to alleviate discomfort and enhance the birthing experience as well as unbiased information about procedures and interventions, possible side effects and alternatives. A doula is like having a pregnancy, birth and baby expert at your disposal. She is a pillar of strength to lean on and peace of mind for the most important, transformational experience of your entire life.
By hiring a doula, a couple is investing in greatly lowering the chances of unwanted and unnecessary intervention and greatly increasing the odds of having a safer, more productive and much more fulfilling birthing experience which really sets the tone for the beginning of life as a parent to your baby.
Think about how much time and money we spend to make our wedding day the most fulfilling experience we can possibly imagine. We do this because this day sets the tone for the rest of our lives together. Birth is an event that will change you even more deeply than the day that you marry. It deserves the same amount of preparation and attention and should not just be left to chance. By educating and preparing yourself AND by putting together the best birthing team, you are truly doing everything that you can to ensure that your birth is the most fulfilling experience you can have.
Women/couples who hire doulas have the benefit of looking back on their birth knowing fully that they did everything they could do to contribute to a positive outcome - even if medical interventions become necessary and birth does not go as planned. This can reduce the risk of regrets that often contributes to Post Partum Depression. This results in happier, healthier moms and babies....and that's what good doulas are all about.
Since 1980 there have been studies conducted on the benefits of having a doula supported labor.
The statistics show significant decreases in interventions:
I realize that this is a controversial topic that insights many different reactions, but it's a conversation that must be had. This decision, like all decisions you will need to make, should be an informed one - and if it is an informed decision, we at Crowning Lotus honor that. However, up until now it seems that circumcision is a procedure that most parents "just do". It is mostly done out of sight and out of mind, therefore most people have no real idea what it is or what the child endures as well as why they are even doing it. Considering these baby boys are having their genitals completely altered from their natural state it is reckless at best to not at least consider all of the risks and benefits before making this decision which will effect the child for the rest of their life - either way.
This is my story as a mother of two boys. I have one of each - cut and uncut. When I gave birth to my oldest I was barely 17 years old. I chose to circumcise simply because I believed it was supposed to be done and that he would be weird if I didn't. No one ever questioned me except for my grandfather who told me while I was pregnant that he was uncut and asked me if I was planning to have him cut. I think that since it was my grandfather it was easy to dismiss as weird....my grandfather penis has never been something I wanted to ask a lot of questions about. So, that was the extent of thought that I put into it. Because I gave birth alone (I was a single mother), there was no one that went with him through the procedure either. They simply came and took him off and returned him to me about an hour later with instructions on how to care for the cut. He was lethargic and not at all happy, but I cared for him and he healed and got better without complication. I think it is important to mention that we never got a successful latch before they took him for the procedure and that after the circumcision he REALLY didn't like trying to. I ended up exclusively formula feeding him and felt extremely rejected by him. I ended up developing extreme PPD after that whole experience as well. I'm not saying that getting my child circumcised is the cause of all of this - there were many factors at play - but, I know that it did not "help" our situation.
My next son was born 12 years later in 2009. I was a doula now and much more educated and valued the importance of making informed decisions. Through my work and connections as a doula I had become aware of the "intactivist" movement and I was pretty sure I did not want to circumcise. However, my husband (and his friends) were not at all on the same page, or even willing to open the book. I began to realize that this was a sensitive subject for men...and it was easy to understand why. By saying that something is "wrong" with circumcision it is like saying something is wrong with their penis, they may even be offended by the suggestion that their parents made a reckless decision for them. It became clear to me that the conversation about circumcision was something that brought up a lot of emotion in men.
The discussions regarding this issue would get quite heated very quickly and if he did have a friend around I would instantly feel ganged up on. It's true that I don't know what it is like to be a boy - cut or uncut - but, does that mean I think that we should make such a huge decision for him without even looking at the information? That went against all my beliefs as a doula, so I began doing my homework and invited my husband to do the same, letting him know that I would be happy to listen to anyargument he had that was based on facts rather than emotion and "wanting him to look like you".
I began by asking around and started with a mutual friend of mine and my husbands. Our husbands were friends and I had known from a previous conversation with her that they had chosen not to circumcise their son. I decided to write her and inquire as to "why" as well as how the conversation with her husband had gone. She explained to me that when she was training as a nurse (or something), part of her job was to shadow circumcisions. She said that after witnessing what these babies go through first hand she swore right then and there that if she ever had a boy she would not put him through such a procedure - especially since it had no medical necessity. She also stated that the conversation with her husband was not easy, but that ultimately she knew that if the parents disagreed about the procedure in the hospital that they would not perform it by default. Eventually they found a middle ground on it and he did not get snipped and it ended up being no big deal. Her husband is on board with not circumcising 100% now and doesn't think anything looks "wrong" with his sons penis.
I kept talking to the people in my life - for the men, I started asking them if they were or weren't - and how they felt about it either way. For the women, I asked if they had ever been with a man who was uncut and wanted to know what they thought about it. What I found was that more of my men friends were uncut than I thought - and that the ones who were tended to be quite balanced in their masculine and feminine energies (meaning they were all really manly guys who still knew how to remain sensitive to and help tend to the needs and duties of the women). No woman that I spoke with had anything negative to say about men they had been with who was uncut - on the contrary - all of them told me that it was "better because there was more give". Now....this is just what I learned from talking to my friends/family. It was a personal study that gave me insights to the world immediately around me.....and, ultimately, all this information compelled me to learn as much as I could and to fight for my sons foreskin.
I learned much and did feel overwhelmed by the information available on the web, but I dug around. It became my understanding that Circumcision had been around for many ages. It is debatable where exactly it came from, but, it was initially used as a way to "purify" an individual. Sex is/was seen as "dirty" and circumcision was said to help prevent sexual deviance and masturbation by taking away from the sensitivity of the penis (which it does). When it became obvious that sexual deviance and masturbation didn't seem to have a preference between cut and uncut men - the reason then was that it was simply "cleaner" to circumcise. However, with proper instruction and hygiene this simply isn't a concern. Girls also have extra skin and we teach them to properly care for themselves to avoid infection - which is far more frequent in girls anyways. There are studies that show that circumcision is a semi-effective way to help prevent infection or STD's as well as HPV - the leading cause of cervical cancer, ...but, again, with proper precautions that everyone should be using anyways it still doesn't seem like enough to justify the procedure. I have a very hard time believing that the answer to our STD issue is cutting skin off of the penis as a preventative measure, but that's a whole other blog post.
It is currently rare to find a doctor or pediatrician who will actually recommend the procedure as one that is medically necessary as a preventative measure, because it simply isn't and the statistics reflect this: In 2009 32.9% of babies WERE Circumcised. This is a number that continues to fall as insurance companies and states which provide medicaid are dropping coverage for the procedure. However, most people who choose to do it do it because of the belief that it's just "what you do" and no one seems to be really advising against it either - even though anywhere between 100-200 babies actually die annually in the US from circumcision related complication. So, most people - like myself the first time around - just allow it to happen without thinking much of it. This seems to be a quickly dying trend, however. Uncircumcised boys are currently the majority - therefore the argument with my husband over the whole "locker room" fear was bunk because by the time he is in high school it will already be the norm.
Knowing all of this, there was still a period of time where I felt that I was in a battle that I couldn't win. My husband was so adamant about having the procedure done out of fear of ridicule and aesthetics, he was unwilling to listen to much of the research I had done and I began to feel myself giving in. I was pregnant and stressed out with all of it. I informed him that I may just tell them not to do it at the hospital, but began preparing myself for allowing the procedure to happen. I never wanted to take my husbands decision making say out of this, and I didn't like that we were fighting about it....and I didn't have a penis so I felt as though I had less of a right to speak on the matter. Then I decided that I should just watch one be done so I could be prepared for what my child might be going through - I figured that was only fair to him. I sought out a medical training video on the procedure and watched. It was traumatic and effected me greatly - especially as someone who has been violated in my youth. The cries these babies are making are cries of pain, there is no way to deny that (as a matter of fact ALL pain studies conducted on circumcision in the US and Canada have come to an early end as a result of infant trauma.) The anesthetics take time to have a full effect, and they still do not take all of the pain away (which is obvious from these videos).
Instantly I felt very protective over my child and simply told my husband there was absolutely no way I would allow this to happen and that I would not listen to another word from him about it unless he sat down and watched that video himself. To my relief, he ultimately changed his mind as well and is now also in support of keeping boys intact. It's actually pretty funny to hear him talk about it now because he often says the same things I used to say to him when making my case. It's good to know that he's proud of him and has no regrets what-so-ever about keeping him the way nature intended.
I do not "regret" getting my first son circumcised because I realize that I was completely uninformed and did the best I could with the situation I was given. I have learned and grown a lot from that, therefore there is no need for regret. I realize that I may piss some people off for writing this article, and maybe it's even unprofessional to write this within my business blog (I usually reserve such 'in your face honesty posts for my Gypsy Jewels Blog) - but - please understand that I strongly believe that this is something that deserves to be brought up and given a great deal of consideration to. Especially as a mother with very different experiences with both, I feel like I am given a unique point of view that can be valuable to others.
It is not my intention to make anyone feel bad for choices they have or will make for their baby boy, I respect ALL informed choices. My intention with this post is that it may inspire other people simply to really think about the decision to snip or not - to go into this with eyes wide open. Maybe through our story a mother who feels strongly about this may be able to find her voice and speak for her son - even if she feels resistance from her partner, or that a father may take a moment to really consider where his own emotions are at regarding this and examine that in regards to the decisions that they are making for their boy. No matter what you decide - know why you are making that choice and please, PLEASE go with your son and be with him through the procedure if you decide to go through with it. Talk to him, let him know you are there and that you love him. <3
Your birth is a sacred experience. It is one that you will not only remember for the rest of your life. It connects us instantly to all of the mothers who have ever given birth before us - and the ones who are doing it right along with us all over the globe.
Birth is not off track because it is dangerous, it is off track because of our perception of it as dangerous. If we see and treat birth as though it is a medical emergency, it will not be uncommon for it to turn into one. Likewise, if we treat bEARTH as the sacred transformation and ascension that it is - it could start to become that instead. This would lead to hoards of empowered, happier, and healed womb'en and families all over the world. Our fear of giving females too much power (or our own fear of taking it) currently is, and always has been, our biggest obstacle - but it is one that can be overcome.
Part of our work with families involves helping the mother and partner understand that bEARTH is sacred and should be treated as such and also encourage treating bEARTH as a tremendous healing opportunity. For a woman who has ever been hurt, physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually or mentally, giving bEARTH to her child on her terms can be one of the most important healing events of her life. Consciously incorporating this into the entire childbearing experience makes it all the more possible to find true healing.
This is a collection of links and videos that we will continue to add to. It was put together as an introduction to Sacred bEARTHing for you to enjoy and hopefully get inspired by.
The following talks are important for all womb'en to not only listen to - but to hear.Wisdom Talks has been an important part of my journey, I am a stronger and more open and proud womb'en because I listen to them.
These two particular recordings are ones that I have begun giving to my clients to listen to prenatally.
**This first video we would very much like you to watch with open mind and heart. As you watch it, feel your connection through childbirth through the ancients. Know that they are you and you are them. See and value the role that womb'en play for one another - how many of us could be portrayed as any of these women, from the mother, to the helper to the midwife. We support each other as womb'en who have a deep knowledge and understanding of what it means to BE womb'en.
A Vision For Birth:
Let's Include The Men! The Sacred Feminine should not be taken as a threat against masculinity. The true idea here is the BALANCE within each of us.
Speaking of the Male/Female energy and balance thing - this is a video from one of our favorite You Tube series, Spirit Science:
I have come across a site called "Milk For Thought". They are putting together a bus tour and going to the cities where they are wanted the most to promote breastfeeding. I think it is great what they are doing so I have decided to try and get involved and see if we can get them to come to Grand Rapids! One of the features on their site is a place to share your breastfeeding story. I'm always willing to share my experiences, so, I began to write - but had no idea that this is what was about to pour out of me.
This is a very personal story, but I felt that it was worth sharing. I am not ashamed of my past because I know that I have gained great knowledge and strength from it. I love who I am and know that I would not be here if I hadn't been there. So, here goes - my story of how birth and breastfeeding impacted me as a sexual abuse and abandonment survivor:
My mother breastfed me for awhile, though, I'm not exactly sure how long. What I am sure of is that by the time I was one my mother had better things to do than to fully accept the responsibility of a child. Through these years I lived with my mother only occasionally and when I did I was often subjected to harmful people who fed on little girls of mothers like mine. When I wasn't living with my mother I was shuffled between relatives and eventually ended up in foster care. I was an angry teen and I was really good at expressing it.
I got pregnant with my first child at 16. His father was a con-artist from Indianapolis (at least, that's where I met him) who had committed a crime and was essentially on the run when he came to be with me here in Michigan (I did not know about the crime part of the story at the time). I, desperate to get out of a small town and find some sort of stability or "family" of my own couldn't turn down the "love" (or escape?) he was offering and within months I was pregnant. Shortly after I realized he was crazy.....and on some dangerous drugs which made him delusional. I left him and had my baby on my own almost exactly two months after I turned 17.
When I was pregnant with Calvin I really believed that I would somehow create the family that I had never known. That this baby would be the first person to come along who would not reject me, who would love me unconditionally and teach me about motherhood - something I desired a connection to strongly. I also felt like this would be my way of reclaiming my body as my own and as my childs. I expected my inner "mama bear" to kick in and protect not only my child, but me as well. As I waited for him to come I didn't give a lot of consideration to many of the decisions I was making. I just knew what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it. My birth would be natural or with just narcotics (epidurals have always given me the willies) and I would breastfeed. These things just made sense to me and I never once considered that I would not be able to accomplish them.
The birth, though almost 3 weeks past due, went basically "as planned". I received Stadol and he did end up getting the vacuum used on him. I did not really know what was expected of me after I had him, though. I remember being in shock and repeating "Oh my god, he's out. There he is." in total disbelief. I did not want to try to breastfeed right away - I do not know why, and no one ever really told me that I should have. As I was transferred to the maternity ward Calvin went with the nurse and was given a bottle (without my knowledge). When he returned and I eventually tried to breastfeed he refused to latch....and he never latched. I worked very hard with a lactation consultant and even stayed an extra day in the hospital to work on it and nothing. I felt so completely rejected...and alone.
I did not know it at the time, but, I was developing some pretty hard core PPD. Now, instead of rebelling against my mother and my absent father and all of the things that had happened to me, I was rebelling against motherhood. I left Calvin with my foster parents often and partied for days. I abused and pushed myself to the limits of life and I believe there were times I came close to going completely over the edge. But, I held on. Somehow. Then, I met Shawn.
Shawn was my mechanic, we went on a date and we've been together ever since. Minus a few bumps in the road. Our third wedding anniversary may be next week (6.21.08) - but we've been together for 12.5 years now. Something about Shawn made me feel safe and to this day he is the closest thing that has ever felt like "home" to me. He took Calvin and I, and all of my crazy baggage and never left my side. When Calvin was 4.5 we welcomed our first child together, Kiyra. Another natural birth, but this time she took right to the breast and fed beautifully. This moment transformed me. Not only did it bring our family completely together, I was feeling better emotionally and much more ready to be a mother. I was actually enjoying the experience and I was very proud of the fact that she was nursing well. We never needed to supplement and she self weaned at around 1 year old.
Something interesting happened to me through being a breastfeeding mother. I suddenly felt powerful and alive! I felt the truest of connection between a mother and a child, and I was there for my children as much as a mother possibly could be. These were big things to me. And, I always felt sexy, but breastfeeding made me feel beautiful. I felt like I was part of nature, which was important to me and resonated with me deeply. It was just so right.
I can not put into words the effect this had on me fully, but, I began to talk about birth and breastfeeding and advocate for it. I also attended my first birth around this time for a friend of mine. The experience left me profoundly aware that I was good at something. I was completely unaware, however, that there was actually a name for it until years later - when another friend requested me to attend her birth as well.
Once I had attended a couple of births and was introduced to the term "doula" and what they did it was like a revelation. "I'm a doula!", I thought excitedly. I began to do research and take in as much information as I could. It was around this time when I figured out that I had probably been suffering from some severe PPD along with the PTSD from my childhood when Calvin was born. I spent a lot of time forgiving myself and others and healing from those wounds that I had not only received - but inflicted. This was also around the time that I married Shawn. We tied the feathers in a traditional Native ceremony and every regret, every piece of sorrow faded away from that moment on. Exactly one week later we found out that we were expecting our third child.
I was overjoyed to learn of this pregnancy. We were much older now and we have so much love to give. Sure, there was a significant age difference in the children (Kiyra was now 7), but, I didn't care. I thought it was wonderful. Unfortunately at 10 weeks I had a miscarriage which left me a complete shell of a person. I had gone through a couple of other miscarriages before, but I have never wanted a baby so much. This was on a whole other level of depression because I really felt like that might be it for us. Shawn thought we might be better off not having another, but I now had a deep desire to have a baby. Then my best friend got pregnant. Then quite literally about 85% of ALL of my close circle girlfriends got pregnant. And, as badly as I wanted to, I simply could not find an ounce of happiness that I could genuinely express for them. I felt terrible about that, but I was in such a state of grief that I simply couldn't even fake it. I knew, however, that I wanted to work with pregnant mothers. And, I also knew I was going to HAVE to get over this and find my peace with all of my beautiful friends having babies. As soon as I decided to "let it go" we found out we were pregnant again.
Zander was born 9.7.09 completely naturally and was put right to my breast. My daughter was right by my side the entire time. My husband, son and mother in law also in attendance. He nursed for 1 hour and 12 minutes that first feeding. I cried because I was so proud that I finally felt 100% like I was in control of my life, my body and my choices - and that I was making the best and wisest decisions that I could. There was no more self destruction - only the giving of this love. By choosing to evolve through my life, by taking the things that have been difficult and turning them into lessons that I can grow and become stronger from. I had fully evolved from a scared, hurt, motherless child into an informed, strong, beautiful mother.
Zander is now 22 months old and he is still nursing. I have fully embraced becoming a doula and have become a babywearing, breastfeeding and natural birth advocate. I have also co-coordinated a breast milk donation drive locally to support a baby in need on the east side of our state as well as making a line of handmade nursing supplies for mothers everywhere. I worked for a lactation consultant for a year and learned a great deal about breastfeeding technique, troubleshooting as well as the emotional aspect of it from many different perspectives.
Breastfeeding is certainly a journey, as is parenting. Every individual will have a different experience even from child to child. I do not judge people who can not breastfeed, or who quit when they maybe did not need to because I know that few people have all the information or support they actually need. I can not judge women for the choices they make under these circumstances. All I can do is hope to spread the knowledge of how wonderful birth and breastfeeding can be, to provide the information so that they can make informed choices. I believe very strongly that we can create stronger bonds and better starts for babies everywhere and that ultimately this could heal ourselves and even the world.
It's been over 3 years since I decided to pursue my birth doula certification. As I prepared myself for the journey towards my certification I felt incredibly confident that I had chosen a profession that was exactly in line with who I am and the kind of difference I want to make in the world. Now, on the other side of this processes - I have never been so sure of anything about myself in my life. I was a doula before I knew what a doula was. It is within my spirit, my truest self.
I want to thank everyone who has allowed me to attend their magical births which have taught me so much. Each and every one of you are and always will be carried in my heart everywhere I go.
I'd like to also thank my family and my framily (friends+family=framily). The love, encouragement and support that you all have shown me over the years by supporting all of the things that I do has meant the world to me. Whether it's been jewelry, tarot, birthing or breastfeeding - you've all been my support system along the way which has kept me going. Without all of you, I would not have the strength or the courage to do a lot of the things that I have done and will do in the future. I love you guys and I am so thankful each and every day for you!
I am looking forward to the future. As we wrapped up these two amazing breastfeeding events (the Latch On America Tour and Big Latch On) and I received my certification I can't help but be overwhelmed with possibility and excitement for the future. I really believe that there is a movement afoot in favor of getting back to basics. Better birthing and breastfeeding experiences will lead to MORE improvement and stronger relationships and levels of love and understanding that we may never have thought we could achieve. I am so excited to be a part of this and so much more!
"Anyone can make a difference, and everyone should try."
Juliea Paige CD(DONA) does "Mommy Talk" on the issue of Breastfeeding in Public:
Breastfeeding. What's the big deal? We're just trying to feed our babies, right? Even though I know that this is a hot button issue for a lot of people, I still don't get it. Motherhood is the single most important job on this planet - so, why would anyone want to make a mothers job more difficult just to make THEM more comfortable? I've spent a lot of time this summer addressing this issue in hopes of progressing my community into a more breastfeeding friendly culture for new and future mothers to enjoy.
Through this experience I have learned that this is NOT a difficult issue to understand. It usually takes about 5 to 10 minutes in a conversation with someone (face to face) to make them understand where we are coming from and why this issue is important fr each member of our community. So, I am addressing some of the common questions posed by people who take issue with nursing in public:
"Why do they have to do it in public?"
The answer to this question is really quite simple. Moms need to feed their babies in public because their baby got hungry while they were in public. Mothers do not nurse in public to try and expose themselves & they do not do it to make you uncomfortable - they do it because a fed baby is a happy baby. Just as much as you probably don't want to hear her baby freak out, trust me - she doesn't either. Besides, letting her baby scream could cause some major leakage for a lot of mothers, so which is the better scene - a mom sitting silently, nursing her baby - or a mother with a soaked shirt and a screaming child?
Moms have lives, too. Even if a mother did only the bare minimum there is still 2, 4, 6+ week check ups at the doctor for her and her baby, often times she is the one responsible for getting groceries for the home, etc. What we should be asking is - why should she have to stay home?? To make you more comfortable? How fair is that?? Are you more important than her baby?
There is never a time in our lives where it is more important to care for ourselves as well - both physically and mentally. Making a woman feel like she must stay home or else she may be made to feel uncomfortable or rejected by her community if her baby gets hungry is plain wrong. We've GOT to move on from this way of thinking because it is hurting mothers and babies.
"Can't they just pump and feed the baby with a bottle while they are out?"
No. Well, yes....if she WANTS to, she could do that. But - it's unrealistic and a LOT of extra things that you are asking this mother to deal with that she would not otherwise have to. This is what that would entail:
Mom pumps milk at home (10-30 Minutes)
Gets baby ready, packs all diapering supplies, change of clothes & blanket, clean bottles, nipples, bag of breast milk in a cooler with an ice pack so it doesn't go bad. She also has to pack up her pump because she must empty her breasts in order to a.) be comfortable and b.) keep up her milk supply for her baby. (15 minutes)
Put the baby in car/travel
Baby gets hungry
Mom gets the bottle out and bag of breast milk. Needs to find a way to get the milk to temperature so the baby will drink it. Baby is crying now. (5-8 minutes)
Mom finds a restroom with hot enough water to warm the milk. She puts the milk in the bottle. Baby is screaming. (8-10 minutes)
She takes her now desperately hungry baby to a seat to give her a bottle...but the baby is so upset she wont take it. (who knows how long this could take...)
Mom still needs to find a place to pump because her breasts are swollen and in pain in response to her baby's hunger cries - and because she must pump when her baby eats if she wants to keep up her supply. (10 - 40 minutes or more)
This is what it looks like for a nursing mother:
Mom gets baby ready, packs up diapering supplies, change of clothes and a blankie.
Put the baby in the car/travel
Baby gets hungry
Mom holds baby and nurses her before she starts crying from hunger.
By asking a woman to pump and feed her baby from a bottle in public is literally tripling her work load.
"What about the children?"
When children, especially - but not exclusively - girls, see women breastfeeding it becomes normal very easily. Children can comprehend very easily that we feed our babies from our breasts. They don't see breasts as sexual yet, YOU do. When a child asks "what is that baby doing?" the simple and very easy response is "She is breastfeeding the baby. Some baby's drink milk from their Mommy's instead of a bottle. Isn't that interesting?" Simple. Kids get it. It's actually the perfect opportunity to normalize breastfeeding for a child for the rest of their lives. When you treat it like no big deal, they will, too. On the same note - if you treat it like it is disgusting and inappropriate - you will also give them that (incorrect) impression to carry around with them through their lives.
Children who are exposed to breastfeeding as a normal human function (which is exactly what it is) are far more likely to breastfeed as adult or support and encourage their partner to breastfeed. Hiding breastfeeding from children is a disservice to them.
"Can I look?"
I believe that a lot of this discomfort with breastfeeding is not actually discomfort about breastfeeding. I think it's about the breast. We have sexualized breasts so much in our culture that it is hard not to immediately associate them with sex when we do see them. They are both - and it's OK that they are both. We need to acknowledge that and move forward.
When a woman is breastfeeding she will tell you how comforatble she is with people actually seeing her do it by where she is, if she is covered or uncovered, and her general body language. Personally, I do not cover up and I do not mind at all if people watch me breastfeed. There is still a line that people can cross - if someone is staring or getting too much enjoyment out of it, then I adjust myself for my own comfort level. This is why I love my Nursing Clips because I rarely want to cover, but, the option is there if I feel I need to. If a woman has a cover on, unless you have X-Ray vision or something, you're not going to be able to see anything even if you try. But, obviously, this would be a sign that she does NOT want you to stare at her.
The bottom line is: Look but don't stare. Use your social instincts and behave appropriately.
The Grand Rapids BIG LATCH ON where 57 mothers latched in unison. Can you spot ANY nipple in this photo? I didn't think so....
So, this isn't hard. We can find common ground - and we should. We only have things to gain if we do, but our babies have the most to gain. Breastfeeding IS the best nutrition you can give a baby, and don't they deserve that? Why would anyone want to stand in the way of a mother who wants to do something so selfless and so GOOD for her baby? Breastfeeding prevents many major diseases in children and in mothers. Breast Cancer research gets billions of dollars in support every year - but, no one really talks about how breastfeeding could help prevent this cancer from occurring in the first place. Prevention is key - and breastfeeding is free, available and possible for almost every mother out there. Are we really trying to make this harder for mothers to do - or would it be smarter to encourage and support these mothers and make it easier for future mothers to make the decision to nurse their babies?
Nursing in public is not only something that we should "tolerate", it is something that we should support and even encourage. A nursing mother needs not only the support of her friends and family, but also from her community. Asking a mother not to nurse in public is not only unfair to her, but it's unfair to future generations. We learn by seeing. If women were truly free to nurse their babies in public, our breastfeeding rates would naturally begin to rise. The harder we make it for mothers to be comfortable with breastfeeding, the less they will choose to do it. If you are uncomfortable with breastfeeding, get comfortable. Ask questions. Try to understand.
