Recently, it's been brought to my attention that we have a reputation....or what I'd rather call a "label". Some people associated with me professionally have been told by others in interviews that they are apprehensive about hiring them because of their association with Crowning Lotus because we are "too pagan". Others have called out the radio show that Free Beer & Hot Wings did on us a couple of years back (when I was "Free Beer's" doula) where they made fun of me and acted like I was some sort of magical birth fairy (which, for the record, I thought was hilarious - I'm not afraid to laugh at myself...and it IS a show called "Free Beer and Hot Wings" - if anyone is going to form an opinion of me based on that then they have bigger problems than I'm willing to even try and address). Then, I was approached and asked to do henna at a Fit4Mom's event here in Grand Rapids - which I said yes to and put on my calendar only to be told this week that they no longer wish to incorporate it because they were "uncomfortable with the spiritual aspects" of it. I absolutely feel discriminated against because of this and can't help but wonder if things would be different if I was a Christian henna artist (this is West Michigan, after all) - especially since there really are no "spiritual aspects" to henna - unless that is how the person getting it wants to incorporate it - we do offer PRIVATE Reiki Henna sessions, but during events we're just busting out art. Had anyone taken the time to ask the right questions, things would be clarified, my feelings wouldn't be hurt, and this event could have had one more awesome element added to it that everyone could enjoy.
All of this being brought to my attention has had me reflecting quite a bit - on words and their perceived meanings, on labels, on my "beliefs"...I certainly am not trying to make anyone uncomfortable - and I do not want to give people the wrong impression of who we are and how we work either. I generally don't care what others think about me and what we're doing...but I am absolutely one to set the record straight and tell the world exactly what I think. That is what this post is all about.
Obviously, on the surface I am "different". No matter what, there will always be someone who thinks you are something you are not - and as someone who is a Minister and Reiki Master in Grand Rapids, MI - I'm going to always have some people who place me in a category before getting to know me. This is why I think it's important to make a public statement regarding myself, my business and these labels/rumors so YOU, here now visiting my site, can get some clarification straight from the source. You will either love me or hate me for it - but, that really doesn't concern me. I'm not doing what I do because I want to get rich - I do what I do because it is my calling and I'm GREAT at it. I don't want to appeal to people who would judge others without giving them a fair shot anyways, and I would hope that the people associated with me would feel the same way. If someone I was interviewing ever said they might not hire me because of my association with someone or something that I valued or cared about it would be a red flag for me and I would probably not work with them for a multitude of reasons - but primarily because I would be nervous that anything I did could be subject to the same ignorant judgement. I can not be the amazing doula I am under that kind of pressure - I'd rather be hired by someone who sees me for me and values the kind of person I actually am.
Doulas and Midwives are all about drum circles, chanting and hot towels, right?
If you watch any movie or show depicting a doula, midwife or "crunchy" parent - you will easily see that we already are perceived as "far out hippie / witchy" people. Women who simply want natural births are often given the same label. I think it's incredibly unfortunate and completely ignorant of our society to do this - just because we care about the food we eat, the impact we have on the Earth WE ALL HAVE TO SHARE, because we care about how we birth and feed our children, or even because we value love and understanding over intolerance and misinformation and chose to stand up against injustice all over this planet...all of these things can be looked at as "hippie dippy" nonsense to anyone not willing to take a closer look.
I want you to take that closer look.
So, here it is. This is my official stance on my spirituality and our meaning behind some of the words we use.
I operate based on three laws:
1. Hurt no one.
2. Don't be a jerk (see law 1).
3. Learn from your mistakes.
(If you break laws 1 and/or 2, see law 3)
I "believe in" love. You can call that spiritual, religious, metaphysical, pagan, WHATEVER - but you would be the one slapping a label on it. If I personally had to put a "label" on my beliefs it would be agnostic - meaning "I don't know". I'm just a human being trying to do good things with my life while I'm here. There may be a God/Goddess/Source/XYZ - or not. I'm open to all possibility but refuse to ever say that I know "for sure".
"Pagan" - just to set the record straight - ANYONE who does not subscribe to organized religion is, by definition, a pagan. That is a completely broad spectrum of people - including Atheists who believe there is nothing beyond our world.
"Sacred" is a word that can be associate with religion, but, to us, sacred means "regarded with great respect and reverence".
"Spiritual" is simply the acknowledgement that we are "spirit"....that we are more than meat and bones. If you do not believe this - that's fine....but judging others who do is not fine. Neither is judging you for not believing this.
"Energy" is science. It's not something that us "hippie dippy" people like to talk about because it sounds cool....it's real and you have it and are a part of it whether you like it or not. We are all made up of atoms (which are made of energy) which vibrate at a specific frequency to create the matter. We are literally made of stars, of specks of light which come together in the most beautiful way. "Energy" is something everyone can feel. You can feel the energy I am putting into these words as you read it, you can sense when someone is in a great or a bad mood. This is "energy" and we are all sensitive to it to some degree. Some just more than others.
"Meditation" is not "spiritual" (unless that is your "intention"). It is also science. It's mental focus and sometimes it's day dreaming. It's checking in with your body and mind. It can be applied to any and all aspects of living. It helps. Case closed.
"Healing" is something we all do for ourselves and others on a daily basis. When a child gets hurt and you kiss that pain, you are healing. When you breathe instead of freak out - you are "grounding and healing" yourself.
"Crystals" are tools. If you use a cell phone, a television or any sort of technology at all - you can thank crystals. Again - this is science, people! Crystals store and transmit energy and information. They are amazing!! Yes, we use them, but not in a way that you would feel uncomfortable. Anyone from any belief or non-belief standpoint can appreciate the beauty of crystals and can "feel" more grounded by holding onto one.
"Goddess" - to us, this word represents any woman who has stepped into her power AS a woman. She is someone who values herself and others. She treats herself and her world with dignity and respect. Goddess is not deity, it is within.
Calling someone a "hippie" is not an insult. The hippies CARED and stood up to a system that they saw as the broken, lying P.O.S it is. They were the first of our time to care about the food we eat and see that we are destroying our planet with our insatiable greed and use of resources, they were the first to say "no" to a government who went to war illegally and unjustly - costing the lives of innocent people all over the planet...now, 50ish years later, everyone knows organic is better and that we need to treat our planet -and our people- with more respect. That we all deserve peace and happiness. The hippies weren't crazy - they were labeled.
While I'm at it - let's throw "Manifestation" in there in three easy steps:
1. think about a sandwich
2. make sandwich
3. you just manifested a sandwich.
(this also covers "intention" - ie: "I intended to make a sandwich and I did.")
If these words make you uncomfortable, I encourage you to examine that and ask yourself why - with the full understanding that no one is asking you to use or even identify with them. These are just words which any meaning you chose can be applied - but - to some degree, you do these things every day. Heal, manifest, set intentions, meditate - we're all doing it, we're just calling it different things. To judge others on how they chose to identify it is silly. Regardless of your beliefs, we're all humans. We're all in this together.
Now, I want to address how we WORK.
Our approach is to meet people where they are and we pride ourselves in being the "middle of the road" birth workers - able to flow with whatever "energy" will best benefit the person we are working with. We've worked with people of every kind of background from the extremely conservative and religious, to the extremely "spiritual", to the extremely atheist. Nurses, OB's and Midwives LOVE us and always compliment us on our work. No one has ever told us that they EVER felt "uncomfortable". (Want proof? Check out our awesome feedback)!
Some "different" things that we do and what they look like:
For hospital birth especially, we "cleanse" the room of any lingering energy. This is a reset button of sorts. We don't know what kind of birth happened there before we came - but we certainly don't want that to impede on what kind of environment this baby is going to be born into. What does that look like? Nothing really - we spray the room down with aromatherapy, we set an intention to "sweep out" any negativity and welcome positivity and protection (from wherever - from the nurses, the OB's or any deity that the client chooses to subscribe to, etc). As we spray, we hold this "intention". It really doesn't "look" like anything except doulas making the room smell good.
We do Reiki. As I stated earlier, we are all energy. That is science, not myth. No hocus pocus, no witchy/hippie mumbo jumbo - it just is. Think about radio waves - they are around us all of the time. You need the right tools to tune into those waves. A radio is the tool to get the signal - your body is also a tool in the same way. Reiki is simply a clearer signal - a tuning of the dial so you can hear the music more clearly. What does it look like when we use Reiki for our clients? Again - nothing really. It simply is and does. It looks like a doula rubbing a back or feet or holding a hand.
We use crystals (sometimes). Crystals are great tools!! They add beauty and energy to the room and the birth. If nothing else, when held they provide a distraction. Something to focus on other than the pain. Are we waiving them around and chanting? No - they are simply present and available. When we do use them, we simply give mom one to hold and squeeze.
We never, ever incorporate something someone is uncomfortable with - and we discuss this with each client as we work with them so we can best serve them and their birth. The bottom line for me is this - any "spirituality" of myself or my team does not define how we doula. We are educated and passionate about providing support for the people we work for and absolutely any person from any belief or non-belief system could benefit from the excellent care we provide.
If believing in women and their bodies makes us weird hippies, then so be it. We're not going to be for everyone - and that's OK! However, I don't want people out there to think that they know everything about us simply because of an impression they got online and be out in my community spreading rumors or giving us a bad name based on that (false) impression. It is NOT our mission to make people believe what we believe - it is our mission to support and educate in a way that is right for absolutely anyone who wants it.
I really hope this helps clarify to anyone who needs it who we are and what we are about. It's not cool to judge people before you know them, that's why we don't do it. Please give us - and everyone - the same courtesy.
Peace and blessings,
Juliea
